If I have to tell you for how long I have been here, all I can say is that I have seen one more sun than the number of moons. As the last grain of sand moved off from my tip and I was finally able to come up in life I had the sun over me like it is today. I could have told you about my age from the rains I have seen, but somehow I realize that they are not periodic and cannot be trusted. Some are mere drizzles that seem to fall but get lost in the long run. I understand as it took me a lot of time to come up, but coming down should be quicker, isn’t it? The solitude of the desert and the long silence of time though have broken down my dead spines but they have sent my living roots deep down. Going deep or growing high is either below or above in a straight line, but I am moving in circles and so I am spacious. Somehow I need to sense life and only because I do not feel its presence on one of the two sides, I decide to spread out.
My story is all here in the desert that shifts day after day, but still I lay amidst it searching for a horizon. But like oasis in the desert is an illusion, the horizon too is a mirage. The grains of sand fly from one side and form heap on the other, and then the same heap flows over to the other part. Nothing specific catches my eye; there is an obscurity whether things are non-existent or is it me who is oblivious of their presence. But it was not the same always, many a suns ago creatures existed; they trampled over the sand leaving behind prints that would remain till the dawn. They came in as crowds with humming sounds but some words were said in coherence-“sare jahan se achcha Hindustan hamara”.They said it, trampled the sand and moved on.
Apart from all these nostalgic memories I have something more to wondrously talk about. One of the creatures who moved ahead leaving behind a trail on the loose sand with a thin branch dropped something near the rock beside my newly growing bud. The object lay heavy upon that part of me, which then never came up in life. But then again there is silent youth down, and up here are only twilight ever, rising and fading between horizons. The object, I can say had sand but the colour was not the same as that of the one which surrounded me. Its colour was like that of the sky in the noon (only of the days that know not of raindrops).Surprisingly, that sand did not flow away even in strong winds. It was only later that I understood that it was trapped inside something that allowed it only to be seen and not to be taken away. Sometimes it lay higher on a side and sometimes on the other, but eventually it got equally balanced. Time passed and I studied stars and their motion, the full moon waxing or wading and forming crescents on the night sky; but the sand still remained trapped. It would not flow, it just would not.
Time forever did not look behind and I traversed along with it, but this made me understand the Eternal law of the Desert, or the law of the Eternal Desert-‘Whatever leaves, comes back; not transformed not reformed but in the same form. The sand laying flat on one side forming dunes on the other side and the storm again laid it flat on the same side. The full moon forming a crescent, vanishing and then growing again, only to brighten the darker crescent of its previous existence and form a fully lit circle; the sun, stars, moon, their motion all followed this law. Apart from these something else followed this law- the creatures that came long ago (at least they were in the transformation stage).Those creatures returned one day but there was a noticeable change, the crowds had turned into well defined rows, the haphazard trampling into rhythmic leaps, and their garbs were the same (the same way as all of us cacti have identical spines).It was difficult to decipher what they said, still I heard words like ‘war’, ‘Pakistan’, ‘India’. Again and again the same words, no ‘Hindustan’, no ‘Hamara’ this time.
But suddenly it was not the trampling that I heard; there was a ‘thud’ followed by many of them. It was no ordinary sound; it was sudden, more aggressive and faster than the sand storms; and whenever the sound was followed by a sound of lower intensity (as though it had got caught in between) their were many articulated noises that were heard (‘ahh’ …).This was said by those creatures, I felt it come from them…I do feel vibrations of things near to me. At once drops of something lashed me, it wasn’t rain of that I was sure; it was something that oozed out from the creature and spread over the sand. After some sort of a silence the other creatures picked him up and gave him raindrops, but again those were trapped (I wonder; most of what these creatures have is trapped).They carried him and while proceeding left a trail behind, but this time that was not made by a branch, it was something more dark, maybe the colour of the night sky, or in fact darker than that too. This was what made the loud sound (the loudest one).The liquid on me dried but its colour further deepened, while it was wet it was the colour of my flower…
Then on another day they came back in the same rhythm and destroyed everything. They came near again made some sounds and the old sand balancing object was broken, my newly blossomed flower was gone with them and I could spot it lying on a distinct print on the sand. All that remained were the prints, the alien sky coloured sand all around (now free) and the dried liquid on me. There have been a few rains from then on, but the remnants of the dried spot still remain. Their object is destroyed by them and now the part of me that lay silent has come up in life from its long hibernation.
I guess the law is for the Desert only, because I can see only transformation (in creatures that do not belong to the Desert) but they do not get back to the same form. One more rain and the last bits of the dried remains on me would be off and then there would be sand, sun, moon, and their delicate motions along with me (relatively still), the Eternal Law and my story, half of which might sound meaningless to you but which must be said so that the other half reaches out to you.
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